State of our Men

1846 views | Sun, 13th of August, 2017

What a thought provoking women’s month we are having. We have an array of women abuse cases to look at, from Shaka Sisulu, to Arthur Mafokate, to the KFC assault, to the schoolchildren case, and to the deputy minister Mduduzi Manana. These are all men of different ages from different backgrounds but they all have one thing in common: they beat up women.

Is this the common thread between men in general? We are living in a society where we must ask ourselves how we are socialising our men and why they are raging against black women. There is a clear indication that men are broken. These men are our fathers, our uncles and our brothers, they are of our community.

Perhaps we need to take a deeper look at the effects of patriarchy and raising the boy child to believe he is a natural born leader and must always be in control. Is that how we perhaps teach men that they have powers even over women’s bodies?

We can see that men are trash so how do we ‘untrash’ them?


So deeply entrenched is patriarchy that the minister of police made excuses for deputy minister Mduduzi Manana. He was not arrested. In fact the deputy minister saw it fit to just tweet an apology. Is that how we deal with violence against women? The man apologises and we just move on? And what is the standard procedure when a minister beats up a woman?


There is Arthur Mafokate posting loved up photographs of the woman he assaulted, who now has a broken hip.  This case has created a lot of debate as some call it a lovers tiff. What kind of a lovers tiff ends a woman up in hospital?

Kanti in these bae situations niyabethwa ladies? You’re always tweeting couple goals  but tholukuthi you are punching bags at home.


Then I saw the Shaka Sisulu story. Gents WHY are you still having maintenance arguments? That is so juvenile, you know what you did! It is an embarrassment that the mother of your child has to run after you to look after your child. We can’t still be having this conversation in 2017. Only single parents will understand the frustration of making a baby with an immature idiot. It is really draining. Being an absent parent is an act of abuse. Laying a hand on the mother of your child is unspeakable.

Isn’t it funny how it’s always the charming and nice guy who hides the dirtiest secrets?


It is a biological fact that most men are built with more strength than women. Women’s bodies were not built to fight. Women’s bodies house babies they are the sacred space where creation happens. Women’s bodies should be revered and respected. In ancient African ways this was honoured.


I am left speechless at the state of affairs. If being in a relationship with a man means I need to get accustomed to regular beatings then maybe I am far better off without a man.

Sadly it is getting to a place where men are just not worth the struggle or respect anymore. BONKE.