Farewell to my granny Tosana Gertrude Mazwai

802 views | Fri, 12th of June, 2020

Sthandwa sam......chomi yam......my flesh and blood. Me and you we enjoyed our relationship. Thank you for the past 5years when our relationship reached a level I never imagined possible. You were at the receiving end of my childhood rage and grief of losing mama....you took it like a soldier. For many years we were at war. But in the past 5years we found each other kwashelela. Wow I will never forget what good times I had when I lived with you when I was exhausted by life at 36/37. The most unbelievable thing about living with you as a grown woman was when you expected NOTHING from me. Granny, you expected nothing for carrying me. Absolutely nothing granny. Even making my bed was a choice you gave me. Tosana in the end you were gangsta my girl! Yeses we enjoyed such amazing conversations in the kitchen with uSisi. Me and Sisi cleaning and cooking and you just enjoying the vibes of loud conversation and laughter in the kitchen. We all enjoyed your disgusting and dark sense of humor ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚and to this day NO GRANNY I WILL NOT LET YOU PHUZA MY KOKOSI after I have bought you sweets ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚and how disgusting sies man๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚man we laughed in that kitchen and we laughed loudly!!!!! I'm sure malume Veli could hear us from his room outside, I'm sure he would smile- only he couldn't join us because me and him were always at each other's throats ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฟโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿฟโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚I realise now that you have left that it was actually because we were fighting for your attention and love ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚From the other side pls bless my relationship with him? I actually love him but usandikwatele namanje ๐Ÿ˜…But granny I know you adore him and I wanna always be there for him because he took care of you all his life and lived with you. Anyways, back to me and you....thank you my darling for such fun times! Hahaha I remember all the times you would come and find me in my spot behind the house or would sit with me while I did my beadwork. I never thought I would not hear the same stories repeated a hundred million times but hey here we are ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚thank you for repeating your childhood stories to me daily and telling them every five minutes with the same passion likes it's the first time telling them ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚you actually taught me my own patience and love. Thina we would just enjoy the stories and laugh nosisi kuthi hokayyyyy granny is kraykray๐Ÿ˜‚Thank you for always talking about me to your neighbours and community, phela I live in a world where I am a black sheep so ukuthi i was your fave is something I carried for the world to see. Bengazi kahle nje ukuthi wonke umuntu uzozwa ngoNtsikizaiboni kaTosana. Hehehehe phela you were not shy to take me visiting the whole community ushow offa ngam๐Ÿ˜‚. Granny it was beautiful sharing all the time with you. We have so many memories that I am at peace. Mina I took my blessings from you when you were alive so I have closure. I can and must wave bye bye to you knowing ukuthi yeyi mina nawe we enjoyed. I even took you to some of my gigs and everybody always loved you. I won't miss groceries with you- you took too long ๐Ÿ˜‚i will see you in my dreams granny. It's sore now because we had a very active relationship and we used to chat on the phone or I would bring you sweets and cake every 10days. It's sore now......Mara jeso ha ke batli ho bowa maka.....these past 5years with you sealed the deal for me. I had closure. I gave you your flowers when you lived. We told each other we loved each other ALL the time!!!!

Amen now you can be reunited with that playa who broke your heart but you spoke about him till your last days!!!!! I can only imagine how it is for you reuniting with your first and true love Louie. Gosh you used to speak my ears off about him๐Ÿ˜‚that man had your heart it's not even a discussion, so me im happy you're back with the one you adored. You also spoke a lot about your parents in the last few years.....I'm so excited for you that you have followed them to wherever our spirits go to rest โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธgranny SALUTE! Ndiyakuthanda my flesh and blood. My flesh and blood you are my flesh and blood. Hamba kakuhle qhawekaZi lam. Skhokho sam. Sweetypie. My granny. On our last phone call I hung up the phone and was like WOW THIS ONE IS IN A GREAT SPACE.......you said 'bye my baby' and I said 'bye my granny' and we both giggled like lovestruck teenagers.......sisi even says you got off the phone laughing that day. Nami I got off the phone with a warm heart that day. It's like we had a moment where were like 'eyi yazi siyathandana' beaming with our souls. We giggled and said goodbye.ย 

Tosana, Granny, Dabs, Makhulu wam.....NDIYABULELA โค๏ธ

You set the standard so damn high......all that's left for me to do is make you proud.

Dlozi lam asibenzele idust!!!!